How to talk about suicide with someone thinking of taking their own life

Judd Skelton, the chair of Greater Manchester Suicide Prevention, explains to ITV Granda Reports presenter Victoria Grimes why language is so important when we talk about suicide.

When it comes to suicide, words matter.

If you are worried about a friend, colleague or loved one, it can be really hard to know how you can help in a respectful and meaningful way.

That is why learning how to talk about suicide has the power to save lives, according to the Greater Manchester charity Shining A Light on Suicide.

Suicidal thoughts may come and then disappear for some people, others might experience them for years or have feelings bubble up in response to changing moods or life events.

Should suicide prevention be taught in schools? We ask the question in our podcast, From the North

According to Shining A Light, the best thing you can do is to ask them directly and give them the opportunity to tell you how they are feeling.

But it is not always easy as we still live in a society which can still treat suicide as a taboo, says Judd Skelton, the chair of Greater Manchester Suicide Prevention.

"We need to get to a place where we're using language that isn't judgemental and supports positive conversations," Judd said.

One of the main issues with talking about suicide is the words people use commonly to describe a person taking their own life.

Judd explains: "People are still talking about 'committing suicide'. It's not been a crime since 1961 but it gives people a sense of judgement.

"Terms like 'you're not going to do something silly, are you?' These are terms that people use without bad intent but make others feel like they can't open up to that person.

"We know that asking people if they've had suicidal thoughts doesn't put the idea in people's heads.

"If people haven't had suicidal thoughts they'll tell you, and if they have, they'll feel like you've opened up a conversation that they've felt might be closed down in other places.

"It is really important that we speak to people who have had this lived experience and ask 'what would have helped you then and what would help you now?'"

How to help someone who is feeling suicidal

If you are worried about someone Shining A Light on Suicide has complied a list of things you could do to help, including:

• Be ready to listen - They may not want to talk yet, but let them know you are always there to hear and help.

• Empathise - Listen to their feelings in a compassionate and non-judgemental way if one of the most helpful things you can do.

• Be honest and direct - Ask them directly of they are having suicidal thoughts and if they have a safety plan. If they don't, offer to help them make one.

• Help them to get help - Encourage them to speak to their GP or helplines like Samaritans.

• Don't panic - Try to stay calm if someone tells you they are suicidal.

• Learn to Save a Life - Zero Suicide Alliance has created free online training that will give you the skills you need to help someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts.

• Look after yourself - It is understandable to experience a range of feelings when someone tells you they feel suicidal. Talk to someone you trust or reach for help with Samaritans or a GP.