Sid's boss wants Jean to star in his production of The Pirates of Penzance.

The Policeman, the Paint and the Pirates

Comedy

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid's boss wants Jean to star in his production of The Pirates of Penzance. Sid is fine with this, until his boss insists Sid stars in it too.

Bless This House

Sid James is a salesman who longs for the quiet life - tough luck!

Sid James is a salesman who longs for the quiet life. He'd love to simply ogle women, drink bitter and follow his beloved Chelsea FC - but his wife and kids just get in the way.

bless-this-house

Sid is a family man and he doesn't find it easy.

The Generation Gap

Sid is a family man and he doesn't find it easy. He copes with his two teenage children growing up in a world whose values and attitudes he doesn't really understand. Luckily his is more "with it” and guides him gently through most of the problems.

Sid eavesdrops on half of a conversation.

Mum's the Word

It wasn’t that Sid was actually eavesdropping and it wasn’t that what he heard displeased him. In fact, once he had got used to the idea it pleased him very much. The trouble was that he only heard half the conversation.

Jean and Dr. MacLaren plan a surprise for Sid for Father’s Day.

Father's Day

The best laid plans sometimes go astray, and Jean and Dr. MacLaren should have known that when they planned a surprise for Sid for Father’s Day. Things would have gone smoothly had there been no question of the ownership of an “old red Morris.”

Sid gets more than he bargained for when he tells Mike to get a job and spread his wings.

Be it Ever So Humble

Sid gets more than he bargained for when he tells Mike to “get a job” and “spread his wings.” When Mike does and everyone has done their bit, Sid is left with the budgie. When a trip gets Sid in trouble, help comes from a startling source.

Sid creates trouble that involves everyone.

Another Fine Mess

Sid creates trouble that involves everyone. It all started with his boss, who asked Sid to do him a favour. When things got into a mess, Sally and Mike tried to persuade Sid to be honest and it isn’t in the kitchen where the cutlery is kept.

When a young couple marry, it’s the bride’s parents who pay the reception bill.

For Whom the Bells Toll

When a young couple marry, it’s the bride’s parents who pay the reception bill, and the groom’s family have a “do” on the house. If the youngsters go off and get married secretly, someone misses out! And Sid Abbott doesn’t miss out as easily as that.

Sid is convinced that a woman’s place is in the home, or more precisely in the kitchen.

A Woman's Place

Sid is convinced that a woman’s place is in the home, or more precisely “in the kitchen, facing the sink.” Jean, however, feels the time has come for her to break out of her domestic prison and get a job, and arranges for a woman to come in and “do.”

Sid wants a restful Sunday, but that's the last thing he's going to get...

The Day of Rest

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid wants a restful Sunday, but with a blocked sink and young Mike creating a sculpture, a day of rest is the last thing he's going to get.

Trev stays at Sid and Jean's house following a huge row with Betty.

Make Love, Not War

Classic 70s sitcom with Sid James. Trev stays at Sid and Jean's house following a huge row with Betty. Meanwhile, Mike decides to explore his spiritual side.

Mike urges his parents to spend the weekend living on bread and water.

Charity Begins at Home

Mike urges his parents to spend the weekend living on bread and water, and giving the money saved on food to charity, but Sid finds it quite difficult.

Sally brings home a dog when an elderly gentleman can no longer look after him.

If the Dog Collar Fits, Wear It

Sally brings home a dog when an elderly gentleman she has been caring for can no longer look after him. Sid, however, isn't keen on letting him stay.

A night out with the guys leaves Sid with no memory of the night before.

The Morning After the Night Before

A night out with the guys leaves Sid with a hangover, no memory of the night before, and an array of items that don't belong to him.

Mike hopes to win a sculpture competition.

Two Heads Are Better Than One

Classic 70s sitcom. Mike hopes to win a sculpture competition, but an incident with his sculpture might just put first place out of reach.

A war erupts with Sid's neighbour Trev over a cherry tree.

Love Me, Love My Tree

Classic 70s sitcom. After a blissful holiday, a war erupts with Sid's neighbour Trev when Sid returns home to see what Trev has done to his cherry tree.

Sid and Jean get the wrong end of the stick about Sally's relationship with her teacher.

It's All in the Mind

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid and Jean get the wrong end of the stick about Sally's relationship with her teacher. Meanwhile, Mike's latest painting raises some eyebrows.

Sid is desperate not to have to endure a weekend with Jean's father.

Another Lost Weekend

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid is desperate not to have to endure a weekend with Jean's father so he plans a weekend away fishing.

Sid and Jean try to come to terms with their teenage daughter Sally getting engaged.

Parents Should Be Seen and Not Heard

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid and Jean try to come to terms with their teenage daughter Sally getting engaged.

During a family meal, Sid and Jean reminisce about the time they first met.

Strangers in the Night

Classic 70s sitcom. During a family meal, Sid and Jean reminisce about the time they first met, when Sid was a discharged soldier and Jean was a WREN.

Jean wants Sid to go to a wedding with her, but Sid is desperate to go to the football.

Get Me to the Match on Time

Classic 70s sitcom. Jean wants Sid to go to a wedding with her, but Sid is desperate to go to the football match and tries everything he can to get out of going to the wedding.

Jean is worried about the many flirty women Sid meets in his line of work.

Wives and Lovers

Classic 70s sitcom. Jean is worried about the many flirty women Sid meets in his line of work so she hatches a plan to catch him out.

Jean convinces Sid to go for a picnic, but it doesn't go to plan.

Never Again on Sunday

Classic 70s sitcom. Instead of wasting their Sunday in bed, Jean convinces Sid to go for a picnic. But things go bad when they get lost and the budgie goes missing.

Mike throws his own 20th birthday party, but Sid and Jean aren't invited.

People in Glass Houses

Classic 70s sitcom. Mike throws his own 20th birthday party, but Sid and Jean aren't invited. They decide to spend the night in the greenhouse to spy on the party.

Sid is tasked with delivering his chief executive's new Rolls-Royce.

A Rolls by Any Other Name

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid is tasked with delivering his chief executive's new Rolls-Royce, but Mike and Sally's environmental campaigning mean things don't go to plan.

Sally becomes interested in the unknown and Jean, Sally and Betty hold a seance.

A Touch of the Unknown

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid hurts his foot after tripping over Mike's friend's statue. Meanwhile, Sally becomes interested in the unknown and Jean, Sally and Betty hold a seance.

Sid acquires another feathered friend to keep their budgie company, but soon regrets it.

It Comes to Us in the End

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid acquires another feathered friend to keep their budgie company, but soon regrets the decision. Meanwhile, Sally has an accident while moving Sid's car.

The family are keen to meet the lady Mike is dating.

Tea for Two and Four for Tea

Classic 70s sitcom. The family are keen to meet the lady Mike is dating, but when Sally blurts out the lady's age, they are all astounded.

Jean is feeling disenchanted with her life as a housewife.

To Tell or Not to Tell

Classic 70s sitcom. Jean is feeling disenchanted with her life as a housewife, and is shocked when she sees what appears to be her neighbour having a fling with another man.

A long-lost cousin of Sid's turns up unexpected from America.

Blood Is Thicker Than Water

Classic 70s sitcom. A long-lost cousin of Sid's turns up unexpected from America. What does he want, and how do they get rid of him?

Sid's boss tasks him with looking after his valuable antique tea set.

One Good Turn Deserves a Bother

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid's boss tasks him with looking after his valuable antique tea set so Sid treats it as though it was a newborn baby.

Mike decides to take up running and plans a sponsored run to raise money for the hospital.

The Loneliness of the Short Distance Walker

Mike decides to take up running and plans a sponsored run to raise money for the hospital. However, Sid is suspicious and wants to know what Mike is really up to.

Mike wants to use the garage as a studio to launch his career as a photographer.

Watch the Birdie!

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid is dismayed when Mike wants to use the garage as a studio to launch his career as a photographer.

Jean, Sally and Mike all come down with the flu, leaving Sid struggling to cope.

Atishoo! Atishoo! We All Fall Down!

Classic 70s sitcom. Jean, Sally and Mike all come down with the flu, leaving Sid struggling to cope with all the housework.

Sid receives a letter from Henri and Odette who he met in France during the war.

Entente Not So Cordiale?

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid receives a letter from Henri and Odette who he met in France during the war. He decides to visit them and takes Jean with him.

Chaos ensues when a womanising doppelganger of Sid's is on the prowl.

Will the Real Sid Abbott Please Stand Up?

Classic 70s sitcom. Chaos ensues when a womanising doppelganger of Sid's is on the prowl, leaving Sid with a lot of explaining to do.

An old flame from Jean's youth comes back into her life and asks her out for dinner.

I'm Not Jealous, I'll Kill Him!

Classic 70s sitcom. An old flame from Jean's youth comes back into her life and asks her out for dinner. Sid is surprisingly fine with this. Or is he?

Sid intrudes on Sally's job interview, leaving Sally enraged.

A Girl's Worst Friend Is Her Father

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid intrudes on Sally's job interview, leaving Sally enraged. Although Sid had good intentions, he soon comes to regret meddling.

The family's financial situation might be about to change for the better.

Money Is the Root Of...

Classic 70s sitcom. With money being tight, Sid insists Jean returns a new coat she's bought, however the family's financial situation might be about to change for the better.

Jean is upset when Mike and Sally announce they are leaving home.

And They Will Come Home!

Classic 70s sitcom. Jean is upset when Mike and Sally announce they are leaving home. Then Sid decides he is leaving too.

Jean and Sid are roped into looking after Betty and Trev's baby for two days.

Who's Minding the Baby?

Classic 70s sitcom. Jean and Sid are roped into looking after Betty and Trev's baby for two days and soon come to regret it. Was it this hard with their two children?

Mike finds his true love and announces he's getting married.

The Bells Are Ringing!

Classic 70s sitcom. Mike finds his true love and announces he's getting married, but things get complicated when Sally falls for Mike's girlfriend's father.

Sid and Jean plan a party for their silver wedding anniversary.

The First 25 Years Are the Worst

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid and Jean plan a party for their silver wedding anniversary. Meanwhile, Sally and Mike have an idea for a new career.

Sid hopes to win a cash prize in a songwriting competition.

They Don't Write Songs Like That Anymore

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid hopes to win a cash prize in a songwriting competition, but he's not exactly in the same league as Lennon and McCartney.

Jean tries to prevent Sid from going fishing after a warning from a gypsy.

The Gypsy's Warning

Classic 70s sitcom. Jean tries to prevent Sid from going fishing when a gypsy warns her someone in her family will be involved in an accident involving water.

Sally and Jean worry that a new chair Sid has brought home is full of woodworm.

The Biggest Woodworm in the World

Classic 70s sitcom. Sally and Jean worry that a new chair Sid has brought home is full of woodworm. Meanwhile, Mike invites a friend to stay at the Abbott household.

In order to raise some money to go on holiday, Sally and Mike hatch a money-making scheme.

Home Tweet Home

Classic 70s sitcom. In the hope of raising some money to go on holiday, Sally and Mike hatch a money-making scheme, but have they bitten off more than they can chew?

Jean feels that her marriage to Sid has gone stale so she plans to spruce it up.

You're Never Too Old to Be Young

Classic 70s sitcom. Jean feels that her marriage to Sid has gone stale so she plans to spruce it up, much to Sid's annoyance.

Sid's family are being very secretive about the gift they've got him for his birthday.

Happy Birthday Sid!

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid's family are being very secretive about the gift they are getting him for his birthday, but will he like what he receives?

Sid isn't happy when Mike and Sally invite a homeless person to stay with them.

Freedom Is...

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid is less than happy when Mike and Sally make a new friend, a homeless person called Wally, and invite him to stay at the Abbott household.

Sid is inadvertently nominated as the new Chairman of the Residents Association.

Mr Chairman...

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid is inadvertently nominated as the new Chairman of the Residents Association, but can he take control of the issues everyone's concerned about.

Sid is asked by Jean's cousin to organise a wedding for her daughter.

And Afterwards At...

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid is asked by Jean's cousin to organise a wedding for her daughter. He refuses until he realises there might be something in it for him.

Sid and Jean acquire a new chest freezer.

The Frozen Limit

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid and Jean acquire a new chest freezer, but it doesn't turn out to be the perfect addition to their household that they thought it would be.

Sid wonders if information from some strange dreams could be used to make some money.

Beautiful Dreamer

Classic 70s sitcom. After a series of strange dreams, Sid wonders whether he could use any of the information from his dreams to make some money. Or is it just all nonsense?

Sid becomes obsessed with the welfare of some tropical fish he has bought.

Fish with Everything

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid becomes obsessed with the welfare of some tropical fish he has bought, much to the exasperation of the rest of the family.

Confusion ensues while decorating due to the word 'stripper' having different meanings.

The Naked Paperhanger

Classic 70s sitcom. While decorating, there is much confusion in the Abbott household due to the word 'stripper' having different meanings.

When a shelf in the garage falls on Sid's head, he loses his memory.

Remember Me?

Classic 70s sitcom. When a shelf in the garage falls on Sid's head, he loses his memory, leaving his family to attempt to help him regain it.

Bless This House centres on the life of salesman Sid Abbott and his family.

Something of Value

Bless This House centres on life in Birch Avenue, Putney, where travelling stationery salesman Sid Abbott and his wife Jean live with their teenagers.

The Abbott family discover an unwanted guest in their kitchen, who is far from friendly.

Men of Consequence

Classic 70s sitcom. The Abbott family discover an unwanted guest in their kitchen, who is far from friendly and does not take kindly to being asked to leave.

Jean is put out when Sid announces he's off on a business trip with his new secretary.

Skin Deep

Classic 70s sitcom. Jean is put out when Sid announces he's off on a business trip to Birmingham with his new secretary and is intrigued to find out more about this mystery woman.

Sid's neighbours ask him to keep an eye on their house while they're away.

Friends and Neighbours

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid's neighbours Trevor and Betty ask him to keep an eye on their house while they're away, but when they return they're horrified to discover what's in their house.

After three days of constant rain, the Abbott family's home springs a leak.

Well, Well, Well...

Classic 70s sitcom. After three days of constant rain, the Abbott family's home springs a leak. But the source of the leak is a mystery to them.

A confusing photo leads the local newspaper to believe Sid has won the pools.

The Phantom Pools Winner

Classic 70s sitcom. A confusing photo taken by Mike leads the local newspaper to believe Sid has won the pools, leading to chaos on Sid's front doorstep.

Sid discovers where the money for his birthday party has come from, and he's not pleased.

A Matter of Principle

Classic 70s sitcom. Sid discovers where the money for his birthday party has come from, and he's not happy about it.

With Jean, Sally and Mike not talking to him, Sid decides to head to the pub.

Some Enchanted Evening

Classic 70s sitcom. Jean is sulking at Sid, and Sally and Mike won't talk to him. When he finds out why, he decides to take himself off to the pub.

Bless This House

Bless This House

Series 5

1. They Don't Write Songs Like That Anymore

1. They Don't Write Songs Like That Anymore

2. The Gypsy's Warning

2. The Gypsy's Warning

3. The Biggest Woodworm in the World

3. The Biggest Woodworm in the World

4. Home Tweet Home

4. Home Tweet Home

5. You're Never Too Old to Be Young

5. You're Never Too Old to Be Young

6. The Policeman, the Paint and the Pirates

6. The Policeman, the Paint and the Pirates

7. Happy Birthday Sid!

7. Happy Birthday Sid!

8. Freedom Is...

8. Freedom Is...

9. Mr Chairman...

9. Mr Chairman...

10. And Afterwards At...

10. And Afterwards At...