Kate and Rio Ferdinand on the 'difficult journey' to becoming a step-family

Ahead of their new documentary airing tonight, Rio and Kate Ferdinand joined us today to discuss the journey of becoming a blended family, following on from the sad death of Rio’s first wife and mother of his three children, Rebecca.

Rio said: “I think this is another area where people sometimes feel vulnerable… as we’ve found on our journey, speaking to other people in our situation, lots of people go through this and it’s taught us that communication and talking is a key part of the way forward in trying to get to the bottom of the problems that you have in your life.”

Asked if she had reservations about making the documentary, Kate revealed: “I was really nervous. It’s quite scary and we’re quite private, and so to let the world in and know what you’re going through it was really difficult, it’s been such a journey… I’m really glad we did it, it’s got us to where we are now.”

Rio added: “Like the last one [documentary], this has been a really therapeutic journey, filming it has really helped us.”

Explaining about the professional help they have received as a family, Kate admitted: “We went to Child Bereavement UK and we met children that had lost a parent or a family member, and they actually gave us a bit of advice on how the children might be feeling. And wow, that was amazing and emotional, but it helped us to communicate with our children.

“We also went to Happy Steps where we met stepfamilies. We always felt quite alone, because we didn’t know anyone in a similar situation. So just to meet people and talk, it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.”

The documentary covers some very personal moments in their family life, such as going to Rebecca’s grave. Rio commented: “I think it’s important that everyone understands, we’re very fortunate and lucky to be in a position where we have the resources to do certain things that bring happiness for certain periods of our childrens’ lives and ours, which was well documented… but that doesn’t let you into everything, you don’t see the downtimes. You don't see the emotions that are very, very low and the children having spikes in terms of how their emotions are hurting them and making them feel. So, I think it’s important for people to see the realness of that and it doesn’t matter how much resources or money you’ve got, those materialistic things can’t deal with emotions. It’s you as people.”

When asked what the biggest challenge has been for her personally, Kate said: “Everything. I couldn’t cook…. I think I found everything hard. Getting the PE kits ready. I used to forget and get myself into such a state thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’ve forgotten this, I’ve forgotten this.’ It was just a whole new way of living really.

“Even things like, I’d go to the doctors and they would say, ‘Have the kids have chicken pox before?’ and I’d say, ‘I don’t know, have they?’ I sort of felt that at loads of different points I was stuck again and I didn’t know the answer to lots of things. It’s been difficult, it’s been a hard couple of years getting to know the children, getting to know Rio, what they like, what they don’t… Moving in with a whole family who are already formed, it’s difficult.”

The documentary also reveals that Rebecca’s clothes are kept at the family home. Kate said: “It’s a hard one. The clothes are still there as Rebecca wanted Tia to have the clothes. It’s just where you store them, what do you do? It didn’t feel right, but it is for our family. That is our reality.”