Cardiff couple tell how 'world came crashing down' after two miscarriages in bid to raise awareness
A couple from Cardiff has shared their experience of miscarriage in a bid to raise awareness and support other parents dealing with the loss of pregnancy.
Jude and Geoff Davies found out they had lost their baby during a 12-week scan in October.
Their baby, named Bee, had stopped growing and its heart had stopped beating. It came 12 months after a previous miscarriage.
The couple has now started a miscarriage charity to help parents through the emotional process of losing a baby.
Two days after finding out she had lost her baby, Jude went into hospital ready to have an operation to clear her uterus the next day.
But coronavirus restrictions meant she had to face the procedure alone.
"I didn't make it as far as the operation," the 42-year-old said.
"My waters burst just before midnight and I gave birth to my baby in a hospital bedpan on my own. My husband wasn't there and he's my rock and a great source of support for me.
"I didn't want to ring him and tell him either because he was at home with the kids and he couldn't have done anything even if he had known."
The pair, from Heath, had spent the whole pandemic up to that point grieving for Morgan, who they lost in October 2019, 12 weeks into Jude's pregnancy.
"People don't realise what you can go through with a miscarriage, they think it's just like a heavy period but I was really quite ill with it," Jude said.
"There's a perception in society that when you lose a baby that early, it wasn't really a baby, but for me, it was.
"My husband and I made plans for both our babies and to have them cruelly snatched away was really heartbreaking and I'm still emotionally suffering now.
"My husband felt awkward talking about miscarriage as well but that's why we're trying to help other men because it affected him as much as it affected me.
"It was just more of a physical process with me but he of course was absolutely devastated - maybe twice over because he had the fear of losing me as well.
Something that keeps the couple going is the fact they were able to cremate both their babies so they were able to keep the ashes and always feel close to Morgan and Bee.
Their charity, Morgan's Wings, has also provided a coping mechanism, as the couple has now supported families all over the world.
Jude explained: "So far we've probably helped hundreds of people, but not just in south Wales.
"When you give birth before it's classed as a still-birth, there is no birth or death certificate for the baby so you can feel a bit like your baby didn't matter, so we offer Certificates of Life to replace them and I've emailed them as far away as Mexico, Greenland and Iceland.
"We do care packages that we've taken to hospitals in south Wales. For me, I was kept in after an appointment and I didn't have anything to clean myself up with, I didn't have a toothbrush. I literally had what we walked into the hospital with. It's just those little things, we want to try and bring a little bit more comfort.
"We helped a dad recently who was really suffering after he and his partner had miscarried a few years ago. Men are more likely to miss out on support and he rang me and spoke to my husband. It was just somebody to talk to who had been through the same thing."