Visually impaired Merseyside mum told she 'should not have kids' in disability hate crime

ITV News' Ned Kelly spoke to Samantha and Rachel about the discrimination they have faced as disabled parents.

A mother with a disability says she has been told she "shouldn't be having a kid" while travelling home on the bus from a soft play area with her son.

Samantha Ralfe, and her husband Martin Ralfe live in St Helens, both living with a visual impairment.

The couple raise awareness on TikTok about having a disability while bringing up their three-year-old boy Leo.

Sam says she often experiences hate online and abuse in public, she said: "Myself and Leo, and Bailey, my guide dog, were on the bus just coming home from a soft play... and I could hear some woman behind saying that 'oh look she's disabled, she shouldn't be having a kid'.

"There were quite nasty words that were said, and after awhile it was just a case of turning around and saying 'can you stop, because you don't understand.' She called me a sp****c.

"There was no point me reporting it to anyone, because no one's going to do anything. No one would of stuck up for me and said 'yes, I did hear that'."

Although Sam tries to not let the hate towards her impairment effect her, there are times when it does create doubt.

She said: "In the moment once your busy looking after your child and your guide dog, you just kind of let it go over your head, you don't really care.

"But it's when your sat at home just before you go to sleep, you sit there and think about the day and it does get to you.

"Later on you do think, are they right? Am I the one in the wrong? Am I the bad person for doing this? But you just have to let it go the best you can."

Disability hate crime is defined as discrimination motivated by a person's disability.

In just one year more than 13,000 reports of disability hate crime were made, but only around 1% resulted in a criminal charge, according to government statistics across England and Wales in 2022-2023.

Jessica Tait, Policy Manager at Disability Positive, said: "It ends up being a situation where they don't feel they have a community of support behind them, so they don't want to report what's happening to them.

"They perhaps don't realise that they have the option to do that."

Rachel Ruffle, from Sale, who became a wheelchair user after a spinal cord injury, has a 14-year-old daughter called Amelie.

She believes people do not pair disability and parenting together.

"When she was very little I think that was the hardest bit," she said.

"She ran off on me once in the Trafford Centre, oh it was a nightmare, because I can't chase her, I can't bring her back.

"Somebody came up to me and said 'well, if you can't chase after your child then you really shouldn't have her here.'

"Comments like that sometimes makes you question yourself, but it also makes you question yourself when your kid runs off and you know you can't grab them, that kind of sows a seed of doubt in your head."

“Hate crimes against disabled people are despicable and we encourage people to report incidents to the police.

A Crown Prosecution Service spokesperson said: “Hate crimes against disabled people are despicable and we encourage people to report incidents to the police.

“We bring charges in eight out of every ten such cases referred to us across England and Wales and in the North West we have an 80% conviction rate when prosecuting these awful crimes.”

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