Natasha’s top ten tips for high #SelfieEsteem

Author Natasha Devon is supporting our #SelfieEsteem campaign and offering her top tips to help you gain confidence in yourself.

So what are you waiting for? Read through her advice, pose and get snapping!

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Stop Labelling Yourself

When I work with teenagers and their parents, quite often I’ll hear them say things like ‘well that’s just the way I am’ or ‘I’ll always think I’m ugly/stupid’. When we tell ourselves these things they become self-fulfilling prophecies. Try to drop these labels. Remember that you are a complicated human being with lots of ideas, skills and potential and you have the power to decide how you use them.

Go ‘Fat Talk Free’

Make a pledge within your friendship group or with your work colleagues not to mention anything relating to appearance for one whole week (this is called ‘fat talk’ by campaigners). You’ll be surprised how often you say things like ‘have you lost weight?’ or ‘I didn’t like so-and-so on the telly’s dress’. Whether we’re paying a compliment or having a gossip, these kinds of conversations can be harmful, because they encourage usto forget that we are more than the sum of our parts.

Start Complimenting on the Things that Really Matter

Once you’ve ditched the fat talk, you can start drawing attention to the qualities that really matter. Compliment your friends, colleagues and children when they are kind, brave, insightful or when they make you laugh. Remember that the things that are truly valuable about you can’t actually be captured in a selfie.

Try having a screen-free day

All of us, particularly young people, can be guilty of being glued to our phones. But all those filtered selfies and boastful status updates can have a negative effect on how we feel. Commit to having a ‘screen free’ day in your household every so often to help you get some perspective.

Learn how to take a compliment

When was the last time you just said ‘thank you’ when someone complimented you? Particularly in Britain, we’re far more likely to say something like ‘oh this old thing? I’ve had it for ages!’ or ‘noI’m not’. People very rarely pay a compliment that they don’t mean. If you receive one it’s because you deserved it. Learn how to accept it with grace anduse the comment as a self-esteem boost.

Exercise

You might not think you’re an exercise ‘sort’, but the truth is the human body was designed to move around. The trick is finding a form of exercise that you enjoy, whether that’s running, yoga or dancing around your living room to a Beyonce album. Exercise helps us take joy in our bodies for what they can DO rather than how they look. It’s also been shown to boost our mood.

Stop focussing on the negative

It’s called ‘compartmentalising’ and everyone does it – When we look in the mirror our eyes zoom straight to the thing we dislike about our body most. Other people don’t see us that way.Whilst we tend to hate the things that make us different, it’s what other people find the most attractive about us. Try and identify something about how you look that you like and make a conscious effort to look at that part first when you see your reflection.

Shop!

I’m of the Gok Wan school of thought when it comes to body confidence – a great outfit really can change your whole perspective on things. Bodies change throughout life, whether that’s because of illness, injury, pregnancy or ageing. It might be time to update your style,but just because your old clothes might no longer suit your shape – don’t write yourself off. There’s a style out there that will make you look and feel fabulous.

Build a positive community

If you have someone in your life who is constantly putting you down, it can undo all your good work in building your own self-esteem. If you want to salvage your relationship with them, confront them about how their comments make you feel and ask them to stop. If that’s not an option, it might be time to walk away from that person. And if someone online is making you think negatively, it’s DEFINITELY time for an unfollow.Join one of the many positive Facebook groups, twitter and Instagram accounts out there that are designed to be supportive and positive (@_selfesteemteam isa good place to start!).

Lead by example

Children in particular learn far more through copied behaviours than through what you overtly tell them. So if you are constantly telling your children they are gorgeous and clever but then criticising yourself within earshot, they’re likely to emulate your attitude.Taking time to work on your own self-esteem is the kindest thing you can do for everyone around you.

Natasha Devon is founder of the Self-Esteem Team, who deliver classes on mental health and body image in more than 200 secondary schools throughout the UK. Last year, the Self-Esteem Team were given an award at The House of Commons recognising their services to education. Natasha has been named a Mental Health Association ‘Hero’, as well as one of Britain’s Top 50 Social Entrepreneurs. Her monthly column in Cosmopolitan Magazine Natasha Devon’s Confidence Revolution helps readers to navigate modern life whilst rocking their own brand of gorgeous. Natasha is the author of Fundamentals: A Guide forParents & Teachers on Mental Health and Self-Esteem.