'There's no physical bruises but the bruises inside hurt more' says coercive control survivor
A woman from Pwllheli has been sharing her experience of coercive and controlling behaviour.
Swsan Williams had been in a relationship with Stephen Thomas for nearly 20 years, but she says it was only in the last five years together, that she noticeed him losing his temper far more frequently.
"Everything had to revolve around him. We were living on eggshells. You could feel the atmosphere change the minute he got up.”
"There are no physical bruises, but the bruises inside hurt more.”
Swsan has shared her story with ITV Cymru Wales' current affairs programme, Wales This Week.
It comes as the Chief Executive of Welsh Women’s Aid has said the numbers of people charged with controlling and coercive behaviour in Wales is “worryingly low.”
Controlling and coercive behaviour was first recognised as a crime in 2015 and the number of recorded incidents has increased nearly 500% in the last 5 years.
Swsan eventually realised that she had to leave, and her opportunity came two days before Christmas in 2021.
“I tried to get him out the house to do Christmas food shopping. He verbally abused me all the way there and something just switched and I thought ‘I can’t do this anymore’. So I drove to his Mum and Dad’s house and left him there.”
Just hours later, as she waited at her home with a friend for the police to take a statement, Stephen Thomas burst in.
A friend of Swsan called for help from the police as Thomas unleashed his anger on his then partner. Listen to the call here:
“All hell broke loose. He was like a mad-man. I think he would’ve killed me that day. The frothing in the mouth and the hatred towards me, it was just awful.”
On the 23 December 2021, Stephen Thomas was pepper sprayed and arrested. A year later, he was sentenced to two years and two months in prison for controlling and coercive behaviour.
"He deserves it, and to know what he did to us as a family over the past two years,” says mother of two, Swsan.
"It’s a different way of waking up every morning - it used to be pure dread. I should’ve done it years ago. It’s better now than it’s ever been.”
The Chief Executive of Welsh Women’s Aid has said the numbers of people charged with controlling and coercive behaviour in Wales is “worryingly low.”
Sara Kirkpatrick says that the crime needs to be “taken more seriously” and there needs to be "an increase in prosecutions."
Last year, 2,525 reported cases of coercive control were recorded by Welsh police forces. Of those, only three percent led to a charge.
"We have to acknowledge that those figures are worryingly low. There are still significant failings, and there are disappointments.
"There are still survivors that are not being heard,” Ms Kirkpatrick told Wales This Week.
“Is there a moment where we say 'it’s fine, we only let a few women down’? No, we don’t want anyone let down.”
The Crown Prosecution Service spokesperson said that they take all cases of coercive control extremely seriously and are committed to charging offenders whenever their legal test is met. They added that the number of offences charged in Wales has increased since 2016.
If you’ve been affected by anything in this article, help and advice can be found on ITV's advice and support site here.
Alternatively if you or someone you know is affected by domestic abuse you can visit the following services:
The Live Fear Free website or call the helpline on 0808 80 10 800
Safer Wales or call them on 029 2022 0033
Email The DYN Project at support@dynwales.org or call them on 0808 801 0321
Email BAWSO at or call them on 0800 7318147
Email Llamau at or call them on 029 2023 9585
Email Relate Cymru at or call them on 0300 003 2340
Email Deaf Hope at deafhope@deaf-hope.org
Wales This Week: Living in Fear, is on Thursday 16th November at 8:30pm on ITV Cymru Wales and will be available here shortly after transmission.