Couple who lost twin son call for more support for grieving parents

  • ITV Wales Correspondent Hannah Thomas spoke to Ruth and Gavin Coleman at the start of Baby Loss Awareness Week


A couple from Merthyr Tydfil have said there needs to be more support for parents who have lost a twin or triplet.

Ruth and Gavin Coleman lost their twin son, Macsen, earlier this year at just a few weeks old. His twin, Tristan, is now ten months old.

Macsen had to undergo a heart operation early on in his life but died five weeks later.

"Unfortunately we're in the club that nobody wants to be in," said Gavin.

Macsen is never far from his parents' thoughts and they now carry his ashes in his toy rabbit wherever they go.

"It doesn't get any easier that's for sure. It's an unwinnable kind of fight. But we're trying our best."

Ruth added: "Tristan's just recently started crawling. You wonder with Macsen, would he be crawling now?

"There are no words to describe how much we miss him and how much we want him back."

The family have been raising money for the charities that helped them but they want to see more support available to other parents.

Ruth said: "It's very very difficult. And I don't think there is enough support for parents who've lost children from a multiple birth."

Macsen died at just a few months old and is survived by his twin brother Tristan and older brother Tomos. Credit: Family photo

One of the charities that Ruth and Gavin received support from was 2Wish.

Rhian Mannings set up the charity after her husband took his own life following the sudden death of their one-year-old son.

She said bereaved parents need a space to talk and remember their child.

"People just want to have the opportunity to talk about the child that has passed away," she explained.

"The elephant in the room is something we use very much at 2Wish because it's something that's there and still remains very much a taboo subject.

"A lot of that is around the fear of saying the wrong thing but sometimes saying the wrong thing is better than saying nothing."

Ruth and Gavin are enjoying life with their two children, Tristan and big brother Tomos, but are still grieving the loss of their third.

They help keep Macsen's memory alive by lighting a candle before the boys go to bed and he is forever in their thoughts.


You can find support on baby loss here:

Tommy’s online and on 020 7398 3400

Sands online and on 0808 164 3332

2Wish online or via email - support@2wish.org.uk