'A year down the line and we’re still in the same boat': Grieving family’s frustrations after losing mother to Covid
It has been almost a year since the first confirmed case of Covid-19 in Wales, with the number of people who have lost their lives to the virus now standing at more than 5,000. Behind each of these statistics, there are thousands of families grieving as the virus still restricts normal life.
On April 17 last year, Tudur Lewis and his three children, Rhodri, Nia and Gwyndaf lost their mother to Covid-19. Undeg Lewis, 59, from the rural Carmarthenshire village of Efailwen, was a local shop worker and clerk of the community council.
At the time of Undeg’s death, the advice from the government was for anybody who could work from home to stay home, but this wasn’t an option for key worker Mrs Lewis. Her husband Tudur told ITV Wales' current affairs programme, Y Byd ar Bedwar, how he still feels guilty for not being with her at the time of her death.
“She came back and had a bit of a cough but at the time the advice from them was to stay at home for two weeks if you had a cough.
"Within days her cough got worse and the day of our 29th wedding anniversary, I took her to the doctors and they phoned an ambulance that took her straight to Glangwili hospital.”
Tudur says he was not allowed to visit his wife in hospital at the time and the only way to get an update was to call the hospital every hour. “Every time I rang, she was getting worse. She had a clot on her lung at the start then her kidneys collapsed. Within two hours, they had rang me back to tell me that she had gone, her heart had stopped. The worst bit was that I couldn’t be there with her. I still feel guilty about that.”
In April, the couple would have celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary.
“Losing anyone is hard but losing your wife and your best friend. She was the one that was there every day, every night. She would do anything for you. Nothing was too much for her. She was so supportive of the kids. She really was a unique person."
After 11 months, the family still feel they have not been able to grieve properly.
“Normally after a death you have the funeral and you have the distraction of going back to work but I haven’t been able to do that. I haven’t been able to shake anyone's hand or go anywhere. It’s really difficult.”
Mr Lewis also says the lockdown should have happened much sooner.
“They (the Welsh and UK Government) let things go on for far too long before they went into lockdown, it didn’t seem to come for months, it was only a week or so before Undeg died. They let it go too far, they should have done something much much sooner.”
Since Undeg’s death, her son Gwyndaf has been raising money for intensive care staff at Glangwili Hospital, who cared for his mother. Last summer he ran 50km in a day, completing the challenge in five hours and 45 minutes, raising £37,000 in Undeg’s memory.
Gwyndaf says there have been failures in the measures put in place by the Government to protect the public.
“They’re bringing out the vaccines now and you hear things are getting better, but I feel that almost a year down the line and we’re still in the same boat. The worst thing is seeing other countries like New Zealand going back to normal. Here then in the UK, it seems to be getting worse. There have now been more than 100,000 deaths and I’m really not sure what they’re doing about it."
"It makes me even more angry now. At the start I could empathise but now looking at where we’re at, if I was as incompetent in my job, I’d have had the sack by now or resigned, It’s unacceptable.”
In response, the Welsh Government said it was always "acted immediately on the scientific advice we receive about when to introduce measures to control the spread of the virus.
A spokesperson added, "We have done so to bring it under control, prevent the NHS from becoming overwhelmed, and to save lives.
“Thanks to Wales’ team effort, cases of coronavirus are at their lowest level since September last year, while the successful rollout of our vaccine programme means one in three adults in Wales have already had a coronavirus vaccine."
Cardiff University and Bristol University released a new study in November highlighting the ‘exceptional challenges’ of bereavement during the Covid-19 pandemic.
Of the 532 respondents, 70% of people whose loved one died of a confirmed Covid-19 infection had limited contact with them in the last days of life and 85% were unable to say goodbye as they would have liked.
Gwyn Evans works as a volunteer for the Bereavement charity, Cruse. He says there’s been an increase in the number of people turning to him for grief counselling since the beginning of the pandemic.
“They feel guilty because they worry that they’ve passed the virus on to their loved ones, that they’ve brought the virus into the home.
They’ve also been shut out of the process which is a huge part of the problem, the family hasn’t been able to be there in the final minutes of their loved ones’ life. The guilt of, ‘could I have done more?’ kicks in and they can’t sleep which then makes it twice as hard."
There have now been more than two million deaths worldwide from the virus and the scale of the problem is one Gwyn Evans feels no-one was prepared for.
“We’ve not seen anything like this before since the Second World War, and that was millions (of deaths.) No one was expecting to face this, none of us were ready for this. That’s been the biggest shock for so many, the amount, and for it to happen so suddenly.”
A UK Government spokesperson said the loss of life through the pandemic has been a tragedy but has acted on the latest advice.
“Since the beginning of the pandemic, the UK Government has acted on the most up-to-date advice and we have adapted our response as we have learnt more about the virus and how best to tackle it.
“The UK Government has worked closely with devolved administrations and local partners throughout the pandemic, including the Welsh Government, and has secured vaccines for all parts of the UK.
"The devolved administrations, including in Wales, were fully consulted and agreed to the first set of coronavirus restrictions in March 2020 shortly before being given additional powers to shape their own response thereafter. The PM has committed to a full independent inquiry into the handling of the pandemic”
Gerallt Davies became the first paramedic in the Welsh Ambulance Service to lose his life while working on the front line. His father Eifion Davies from Pontarddulais, told Y Byd ar Bedwar about the last time he saw his son.
“He came to drop some things off for us and he told us to burn the bags as he’d just taken four Covid cases to the hospital. The last thing I said to him was, do your best, but be careful, and that was the last time we saw him.”
Eifion was unable to say his goodbyes to his son Gerallt who died in hospital on April 20. The family received more than 400 letters of condolence following his death with some arriving from as far afield as Australia. The letters offered the family some comfort, knowing how highly thought of their son was.
As well as being a paramedic, Gerallt Davies was the Chief Operations officer for the St John Ambulance Wales. He played a crucial role in raising money for a new building in Pontarddulais, where he gave more than 150 children first aid lessons. They are now planning to name the building after Gerallt to honour him and his work.
“It makes me so proud of Gerallt. This building means a lot to the community and meant a lot to him.” You can watch the full Y Byd ar Bedwar programme tonight on S4C at 8.25pm.
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