'I am existing, but not living' Widow speaks of the 'loneliness' of grief during lockdown

  • Wales

  • Watch the report by ITV Wales reporter Charanpreet Khaira

A grieving widow has spoken how she is simply "existing not living" after losing her partner of 38 years to coronavirus earlier this year.

Nikki Mincher told ITV News she has struggled emotionally and been left feeling alone during lockdown after Raza Abbas died from coronavirus earlier this year. His brother Ghulam also died after contracting the virus.

"I wake up everyday and nothing has changed," said Nikki.

"You don't talk to anyone and you don't see anyone and I am trying to be there for the boys but I can't do that properly."

In recent days, a number of stricter restrictions have been introduced by the Welsh Government to help prevent the further rise of coronavirus cases in the country.

The new measures are similar to the original lockdown in March and there is a concern that it could be having an effect on grieving families who have been affected by the pandemic.

Health Minister Vaughan Gething confirmed that travelling to grieve a loved one with family is permitted in the country, providing some comfort for families whose feelings of grief have been intensified by the latest lockdown.

Health Minister Vaughan Gething has previously said that grieving is a reasonable excuse to travel under restrictions.

He insisted that social distancing should still be maintained to avoid the potential spread of coronavirus.

Speaking at a Welsh Government press conference, Mr Gething said: "Bereavement is a reasonable excuse to travel to see other people but we ask that wherever possible the public respects the rules on social distancing.

"What I wouldn't want to see is people gathering to support each other after losing a loved one potentially being a meeting that ends up spreading coronavirus," he continued.

Hundreds of families have been left feeling the effects emotionally as a result of the virus.

Nikki said that she has been left feeling alone during lockdown after Raza's death, whom she had been with for nearly four decades.

Speaking about the impact the latest lockdown is having on her and her family, Nikki said that she was "really struggling" not being able to grieve Raza with her two sons and loved ones.

Nicki Mincher has described coronavirus as a "cruel, cruel disease" Credit: ITV Wales

"My kids and grandchildren can't come around and sort it out and we can't grieve in a normal way, it is really hard", Nikki said.

Speaking in April, shortly after she had lost Raza to the virus, Nikki described it as a "cruel, cruel disease".

"You've got to make the time count and you don't know what is around the corner," Nikki continued.

"It is not natural for a human being not to have contact when you are going through this so it is really hard.

"I have to make the most of what is left of my life with my grandchildren and my kids."

Brothers Raza and Ghulam Abbas both died after contracting coronavirus.

Geraint Williams' grandfather Graham caught coronavirus in the Royal Glamorgan Hospital in Rhondda Cynon Taf and died shortly afterwards. It meant that Geraint was unable to say goodbye to him.

"We were only allowed ten people at the funeral and I couldn't go which was quite hard and because my partner was pregnant at the time we didn't want to take any risks," he said.

Geraint decided to take on a half-ironman challenge to raise money for the hospital that looked after Graham.

He encouraged people who may be going through grief at the moment to stay active as much as they can, making the most of the unlimited exercise they are allowed to do under government guidelines.

Alison Thomas from Cruse Bereavement Services told ITV News people should seek help if they are struggling emotionally with the impacts of lockdown, saying that it is "not the same" seeing people online.

Alison Thomas has urged people to seek help if they are struggling during the fire-break lockdown.

"When you are grieving it is important that you can connect with your loved ones and physically be with someone," Alison Thomas explained.

"It is not the same online. Keep talking, keep in touch with people who you love. Talk to your friends and talk to your family and talk to people who can help you."

Where to get help?

If you have been affected by any of these issues you can access free, online counselling by contacting Cruse Bereavement Services.