Vicky Pattison 'hopeful for future' after opening up about alcoholism in documentary
Vicky Pattison has said she is "hopeful for her future" after opening up about her relationship with alcoholism in a documentary.
In an instagram post, the former Geordie Shore star said she had "no idea" that speaking out in the documentary for Channel 4 would "end up saving me from myself".
The film explores how alcohol impacted Vicky and her family when she was growing up, particularly her father John who struggled with alcoholism.
John's relationship with alcohol deteriorated after he retired from the civil service when he was drinking spirits every morning and was eventually hospitalised with cirrhosis of the liver.
This was followed by the eventual breakdown of his marriage of 30 years to Vicky's mother Carroll.
Vicky wrote: "Recover is not a race. It is a daily battle that a lot of people will never understand.
"They will assume those suffering are selfish and seek to distance themselves from the inevitable chaos that addiction brings."Over the last 10 years of my life I grew more terrified of my relationship with alcohol and the growing hold it had on me- seeing my life begin to imitate my dad's left me feeling powerless and desperate. And of course, I drank more to cope."You'd think I have no more tears left to cry after breaking down and practically sobbing on pretty much every tv show and radio show in the country- and don't forget print interviews- I cried in those too."
She continued: "But I am crying as I write this- not because I am sad- but because for the first time in a long time I am hopeful for my future.
"I have every faith that I can have a normal and healthy relationship with Ercan, that I can be a good mam and that I can live a life filled with light, love and happiness and not one filled with heartache, pain and constant disappointment of the ones I love."I had a firm belief that this documentary needed to be made, that it would help people, make people feel less alone. I had no idea that it would end up saving me from myself."Thank you everyone for your gorgeous messages of support and kindness- I knew this was going to resonate with people but I genuinely had no idea how many people have been affected by alcoholism- it just further reaffirms my belief that we need to talk more openly and candidly about addiction and our experiences with it."Finally I just wanted to say that I love my dad more than anything in the world and I'm so proud of him for being for honest, raw and above all else incredibly brave. You're amazing."
Vicky rose to fame as a reality television star, first making her name on MTV's Geordie Shore in 2011 aged 23.
She left the show in 2014 and took part in two seasons of the dating show Ex On The Beach.
In 2015 Vicky won I'm A Celebrity and has since appeared on multiple reality shows and hosts her own podcast, Vicky Pattison: The Secret To.
Want a quick and expert briefing on the biggest news stories? Listen to our latest podcasts to find out What You Need To know...