Trans teenager’s parents call for better emotional support for families

The parents of a transgender teenager who died by suicide potentially because of his mental health and gender identity issues have called for more support for children and families awaiting care.

A jury at the inquest of 15-year-old Jason Pulman concluded in April that systemic failures by a range of services supporting him could have contributed to his death.

He was found dead in Hampden Park in Eastbourne on April 19, 2022.

The teenager, who was born a girl, came out as transgender and was referred to the Gender Identity Development Service (Gids) in London in February 2020 by his GP.

After following up on its progress in October that year, he was told there was a 26-month wait for his first appointment.

Jurors heard how Jason became increasingly frustrated at the wait and his stepfather Mr Pulman noted in the months before his death he appeared to have “given up” in his behaviour to his family and himself.

Speaking four months on from the inquest, and as new figures show more than 5,700 children awaiting appointments with new gender care services in the NHS, Mr Pulman said he believes the numbers are being “hugely underestimated”.

He told the PA news agency: “I hope that these families are given faster responses, are given emotional support. I just feel for them.”

But he said he did not want parents and families to feel afraid, saying “suicide is the very worst case”.

He said: “I don’t want people to think transgender and suicide are the same thing, because they’re not. I don’t want people to automatically be fearful.

“That’s not what this (us speaking out) is about. It’s about doing what Jason would’ve wanted, which is to support other people.”

Jason’s family said there were other factors which impacted the teenager, including mental health issues and his self-medicating through alcohol and drugs.

Describing his confusion and the stress and anxiety around the length of time before his appointment with a gender clinic, Jason’s mother Emily said: “I was upset but I wasn’t surprised (at the long waiting time) because I know the state of the system around mental health.

“But I know it broke Jason. Jason struggled so much with the wait.”

Mrs Pulman said there needs to be more ongoing support for children, rather than focusing on a single appointment.

She said: “They need so much more resources and not to have one appointment that’s years away, there needs to be regular input with these kids, so it’s not just about their gender, it’s about their mental health overall.”

Mr Pulman said: “When you’re trying to support someone as a family it is just like being on a constant rollercoaster of emotions.

“In the long-term, we want change for Jason, we want to change the system and we want to change it for the families because it’s a very lonely, isolating place to be when you think you’re the only person whose child is going through this.”

He added that knowledge from families who have had experience such as theirs should be put to good use to help others.

“Why has the Government not contacted families like us and said ‘what do we do?’,” he asked. “Because they’re not experts in transgender, I can tell you.”

In his advice to other families who are struggling, he said continuing to talk is key, suggesting going for walks and meeting others who are experiencing similar for coffee.

“There’s lots of opportunities where you need to get out of the house, get away from the stigma,” he said.

“If your child feels that (they are transgender) then you’ve got to believe them and support them. Maybe they will change their mind, but maybe they won’t.”

Regarding NHS care, he said: “Take charge of the system, don’t let the system take charge of you.

“Be on the phone, email them, push for more information.

“Never take it on face value that this (appointment) is going to be the answer to your problems. Because there’s going to be more support needed, like counselling for the whole family.”

By the end of May there were 5,769 children on the national waiting list for gender care in England and Wales, data obtained by PA showed.

It is understood the NHS plan for implementing the Cass recommendations – among which were for a care model which is “holistic and personal” potentially including paediatric and mental health services – is expected to be published soon.

A Department of Health and Social Care spokesperson said children and young people who are questioning their gender identity have “for too long” struggled to get the necessary support.

They added: “We are working with NHS England to transform gender identity services to tackle waiting times and ensure everyone receives holistic care, guided by clinical experts, paediatricians and psychologists.”

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