Exclusive
'I was date-raped and blackmailed by a sextortion gang' - man shares horrific ordeal
Watch this exclusive report from ITV Meridian's Joe Coshan.
20 minutes...19 minutes...18 minutes... As the countdown clock ticked away, Simon* thought his life was crashing down.
Counting down was the time until a gallery of explicit photos and videos of himself, taken without his permission, were being uploaded to his social media for all of his friends and family to see.
Simon believes he is one of several victims of an organised sextortion gang in Kent, blackmailing people for money on dating apps.
He's been speaking to ITV Meridian's Joe Coshan in the hope more people come forward to stop them.
It was Simon's third date with a man he had met on the dating app Grindr.
After a good first impression, his date invited him over to take drugs with him, after initially disagreeing Simon was talked around because he thought he would be safe in his company.
At the man's flat, they had consensual sex, however, things took a dark turn.
"He was administering the drugs," Simon said.
"And I seemed to be much more out of it than he was."
Simon's drinks were spiked with GHB - otherwise known as the 'date rape' drug.
He said: "He kept picking up my thumb and unlocking my phone with my fingerprint, installing things really quickly and taking lots of videos and photos of me, but I couldn’t stop him because I was so out of it."
Simon remembers his date constantly going to the bathroom and chatting to other people.
He added: "I just thought he was getting weirder and weirder throughout the whole encounter and I just wanted to get out of there, I was scared.
"And just as I was about to leave all he said was...you'll have some messages when you get home.”
When Simon got home, he had around 50 messages from people on dating apps.
The man he had been on a date with had uploaded videos and photographs of the pair having sex onto the app and sent horrible messages to other users.
Then Simon checked his other social media, where that same gallery of images and videos appeared to be uploading.
He said: "There was a countdown clock saying 20 minutes to publish. So at this point, I am terrified, panicking, thinking oh my god I just thought this guy wants me to kill myself."
When he told his friends about the incident, they told Simon they couldn't see the videos and pictures on his social media accounts.
The alleged attacker had used fake apps to make it look as if everyone he knows could see it.
Then, Simon received what he says was a sinister message from his alleged attacker - “Thanks for yesterday x” it read, along with a screenshot of his bank details.
He never explicitly asked for money, but Simon believes it's part of a sophisticated organised crime gang blackmailing victims for money on dating apps.
Simon explains what he thinks the motive of his 'date' was
Simon fortunately never paid, asked Grindr to remove the images and to close his account, and reported all of this to Kent Police on the 25 June - the morning after it happened.
But he says after multiple calls per day chasing for updates from officers, he slowly started giving up because nothing happened.
That is despite having what Simon believes are important details, such as photographs of the man and where he lives, his phone number and his bank details.
All of these have been seen by ITV Meridian and offered to police.
But Simons says it was a whole month later, that they were finally taken by the investigating officer.
He believes it was only when a friend who works for the force intervened - exactly a month on - that he was called in to give an official statement.
Simon said: "I think they would’ve gone ‘oh two gay guys, drugs, let them get on with it, stick it in a drawer, it doesn’t matter.’
“It makes me angry and makes me feel very sorry for those who got ignored. You do feel your life is worthless, someone can do something like this to you and it doesn’t matter.
"I think my sexuality and gender played a part in how this was being dealt with. It’s not important, it’s not high profile enough.”
Charities have warned similar cases of so-called 'sextortion' against men are increasing, but many are going unreported.
Gary Williams from charity Survivors UK says change is needed in order to support victims of sexual violence
Gary Williams, CEO of Survivors UK, a charity that specialises in supporting men and non-binary people who have experienced sexual violence, said: "45% of gay or bisexual men experience sexual violence, yet 85% of people never report it.
"Sadly we're never surprised to hear male survivors are not believed or that their cases are not adequately responded to, it's a picture we see again and again.
"When there's evidence that male survivors are not being adequately supported, then male survivors are less likely to come forward in the future."
But Simon believes by speaking out himself, he'll encourage other victims to come forward.
He said: "I just feel like I have a moral responsibility to everyone out there to get these people off the streets, I just would not want anyone else to go through that.
"I know my case alone is weak, but I’m hoping once this interview goes out, the police will get calls saying exactly the same thing has happened to me."
Kent Police say they are continuing to carry out enquiries.
Detective Superintendent Elly Maggs, of Kent Police’s North Division, said: "An allegation of image-based sexual abuse was reported to Kent Police on Sunday 25 June 2023 where a man alleged that another person had shared private, intimate photographs and videos.
"Officers have been in contact with the victim and are continuing to carry out enquiries surrounding the circumstances of the incident.
"Kent Police places all victims at the heart of everything we do, and officers investigate reports of crime to the highest standards, as swiftly and efficiently as possible, in order that victims can receive justice and offenders are brought to account. We also provide safeguarding and support to those affected.
"The investigation remains ongoing. Anyone who wishes to report a similar incident to Kent Police is urged to do so online at www.kent.police.uk/report.
"We investigate every incident thoroughly and in accordance with the wishes of the victim, who we place at the centre of our decision-making."
Grindr wouldn't confirm whether Kent Police had contacted them to request information relating to the investigation because of safety and privacy concerns.
A spokesperson for Grindr added: "Grindr takes the privacy and safety of our users extremely seriously. Grindr publishes a Holistic Security Guide and Safety Tips available from within the Grindr App and on Grindr’s public website, and we encourage users to be careful when interacting with people they do not know.
"We encourage our users to report improper or illegal behaviour either within the app or directly via email to help@grindr.com, and to report criminal allegations to local authorities and, in these cases, we work with law enforcement as appropriate."
*The victim's name and voice have been changed to protect his identity
If you've been affected by the details in this article you can contact the following organisations for support and advice:
The Survivor's Trust 08088 010818
SurvivorsUK 0203 322 1860
Victim Support 08 08 16 89 111
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