Hampshire fathers who've experienced baby loss share important support message

A group of fathers from Hampshire, who've all experienced losing a baby, want to encourage others to share their stories.

The men are all part of Sands United Football Club Solent which was formed in 2019 by fathers who were all experiencing grief.

The team has become a safe, informal space for fathers to meet and help each other.

Each player wears a shirt with the name of their child on it. Wayne Luckins' daughter Sophie was stillborn,

"All the way through your pregnancy, you don't think of the worst. You just think about the joy and the positivity that you're going to get the end of it.

"So with any other loss of luck, a family member, grandparents, things like that, your family's gone through it. So someone can always give you information, however on how to deal with the loss of a baby you look around and there's very few that can give you any advice."

"So that's that was the hardest part of not knowing what was next."

After the loss of his daughter Evalyn, Nick Lang started SANDS United FC Solent with the help from baby loss charity,

"After the loss of his daughter Evalyn, I attended a lot of the SANDS support meetings and regularly it would be mums there, and occasionally a dad might show up.

"I'd always ask the mum 'where's your husband this week? where's your partner this month?'

"And they would say, 'oh, you know, it's not really his thing, you know, you didn't really feel as if he got an awful lot from it."

Player Joseph Maharg said, "I see these people two, three times a week, more than my family".

"This many dads together and all the supporters, in terms of family granddads, uncles, grandmothers, the whole lot just creates a sense of community in your own grief.

"Although it's awful. It's also a little bit easier knowing that everyone else has gone through it at the same time"

The squad do compete against other SANDS teams but finding a way through the most heartbreaking of loses means in reality they are playing for the same team.

For advice and support you can contact the following organisations:

Sands - 0808 164 3332

Tommy's - 020 7398 3400

The Lullaby Trust - 0808 802 6868