Mental Health Awareness: It's A Sin actor Nathaniel Hall speaks on opening up about HIV diagnosis

Nathaniel Hall spoke to Granada Reports presenter Lucy Meacock in an extended interview

It's A Sin Actor Nathaniel Hall says he wishes he was more open about his HIV diagnosis as it now doesn't affect his life "that much".

Nathaniel, from Stockport, was told he had HIV when he was just 16 after contracting it from the first man he ever had sex with.

The now-36-year-old kept his diagnosis secret from his family for 15 years until he chose to write a play about having HIV.

When shown a photo of himself taken shortly before his diagnosis, Nathaniel said: "I have a lot of sadness for what I know is coming for him.

"Not just for the HIV diagnosis but also the subsequent years of pain and trauma that led to."

Nathaniel first knew something was wrong when he got sick on holiday.

He said: "It was in a both ends kind of way. It happens a lot on holiday - which is what we thought.

"We came home and my mum took me to the emergency doctors. They said the same thing, a 16-year-old boy with his mum, they're not asking you about your sexual history.

"I was very sick, I lost nearly a stone in weight. I sort of got better.

"Then a month into college I starting having discharge downstairs and I decided I needed to go to the sexual health clinic in Stockport."

Nathaniel put off getting a HIV test at first, saying he did not think a straight A student who was also a head boy, would test positive.

But, after his doctor kept calling him back to the clinic, he eventually got tested and, all alone, he was told he had contracted HIV.

Nathaniel said: "Being diagnosed was like being hit by a truck. I think I kind of blacked out in a way.

"I went up to my bedroom and I thought I was going to end it.

"I think I was slightly joking, I think I had watched too many episodes of Grange Hill. But maybe to my 16-year-old self it was serious.

"I then just got on with life. I thought it's my diagnosis, I can protect myself and I can protect other people."

• An abridged version of Nathaniel's interview

When asked if he would have told his family sooner, he said: "I wish I had been more open about it. My life would have been so much different.

"The way HIV impacted my life, the self-stigma and shame is so profound, it starts to sabotage your life in ways you don't even know."

When asked what advice he would give someone who is at risk, or just received a positive diagnosis, Nathaniel said: "HIV is totally treatable. I take one tablet a day, it doesn't impact my life that much.

"I go to the doctor's once every six months and I'm screened. If there's anything wrong with me, we find out really early.

"That doesn't meant to say the psychological impact isn't huge. Know that people are accepting and want to help and support you.

"Maybe take that little step towards openness and truly being yourself."

Nathaniel is now working on a new show called Toxic which will explore the harmful consequences that HIV stigma, homophobia and racism can have behind closed doors for LGBTQ+ people.

It will premiere at the HOME theatre in Manchester in October.

HIV & LGBT SUPPORT

• George House Trust has been providing HIV support, advice and advocacy services to improve health outcomes since 1985

• LGBT Foundation is a national charity delivering advice, support and information services to lesbian, gay, bisexual and trans (LGBT) communities

• The Proud Trust is an LGBT+ organisation that supports LGBT+ young people through youth groups, peer support and mentoring programs

• BHA for Equality is a health and social care charity which exists to challenge and address health and social care inequalities and support individuals, families and communities to improve their health and well-being

• National Aids Trust are a UK HIV rights charity. They work to stop HIV from standing in the way of health, dignity and equality, and to end new HIV transmissions

• Terrence Higgins Trust support people living with HIV and amplify their voices, and help the people using our services to achieve good sexual health