Baby loss awareness week: How losing a baby can affect your mental health

Joshua says after seeking help he, and his wife, are in a much better place. Credit: Joshua Brandwood

A mental health advocate says losing a child caused his mental health to decline and urged others to reached out for help.

Joshua Brandwood, from Lancaster, lost his son in 2017 after doctors told him and his partner their baby had a condition called encephalocele.

The condition, which affects between one and two babies in 10,000, means the skull does not form properly, so the baby would likely not make it to full term.

Following the diagnosis, the couple's son, named Hope, was born after a medical management procedure to terminate the pregnancy.

Joshua saw his mental health decline, saying the feeling of loss and guilt became overwhelming.

He said: "As time went on I started feeling more and more depressed and guilty and simply couldn’t face the situation or my emotions any longer so I considered taking my life. "I felt a burden on my loved ones, especially my partner as she was struggling also. I was also worried that if I told my doctor about my suicidal thoughts I would be locked away." Joshua finally reached out for help, when it all got too much, and, he says this is where his life changed.

"I thought I could make the negative thoughts disappear," he said. "But as time went on, it became clear that wasn’t going to happen. It was at this point I told my partner.

"I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders and she was incredibly loving and supportive.

"We both sought professional help from our GPs to help us come to terms with our loss. This was a long process & took many months of counselling.

"We had a fitting send off for our beloved baby. We named him Hope and he rests peacefully in the baby and child memorial garden at our local crematorium.

"After coming to terms with our trauma, I'm in such a better place now and have been blessed." Joshua has now been married to his partner for five years and they have two children - Noah and Ivy. He added: “I would like to share my gratitude and appreciation to all the medical professionals, friends and family who supported us throughout…we are eternally grateful.”