The danger of men bottling things up - Mental Health Awareness week
by Jake Mills
It’s not the most usual of calls to receive, asking if you can front a piece to camera for Granada Reports.
I’ve never had any experience doing so and I can’t lie, everything inside told me to run and hide!
I can be quite an anxious person at the best of times, so the idea of having to front a piece for the news, talk to the camera, do the voiceovers and basically have nowhere to hide, filled me with dread. But, as I learnt more about the feature and spoke to the team, I realised just how important the piece could be as part of Mental Health Awareness Week and that working outside of my comfort zone could allow the contributors to open up and discuss things that could help so many.
So, I said yes.
"Gulp!"
Mental health Awareness Week isn’t a week for the sick, it is a week for us all. Every single person in the world has mental health, which means every single person in the world is susceptible to suffering from some form of mental ill health at some point in their lives.
That’s why Mental Health Awareness Week is so important. It is important for us to know and understand our mental health, to know what to do if that ever suffers, for whatever reason and to know that, whatever you are feeling, whatever you are thinking, somebody else has felt and thought it too.
There is undoubtedly a stigma attached to mental illness, particularly with men, as the harrowing male suicide statistics show, which is why I was so eager to be involved in this piece of film.
To be able to directly challenge that stigma by talking to men that you wouldn’t normally associate with talking about their feelings and emotions, will help others open up.
The prehistoric macho, stiff upper lip attitude is preventing so many from seeking help. The idea that, as men, we shouldn’t cry, talk about our feelings, and just bottle everything up inside is killing us. It is an attitude that is as stale as it is damaging.
That is why this particular piece is so important to me. By talking to Rugby players - the biggest, most macho people I’ve probably ever met - about their feelings and how they deal with their mental health, it allowed us to break down that stigma and to say, if these men can talk about this stuff, then so can the rest of us. I am incredibly grateful to Neil and Josh for opening up to me in the manner that they did.
And then there was Donald. What can I say about Donald? From the moment we walked into his house, he stole our hearts. What an incredibly brave, genuine, gentle man.
Don had us all in tears before the camera began to roll. The filming process was supposed to take 20 minutes but, three hours after arriving, we will still sat in his living room looking through his family albums.
Don’s story was particularly important for me. I think in many ways our OAPs are overlooked by society and especially so when it comes to depression. To hear an 85 year old man talk about feeling lonely, depressed and suicidal was heart breaking but his message could be lifesaving.
The work being done by the Cyril Flint Trust has ultimately saved Donald’s life. As Don described himself, having something as little as a phone call or a cup of tea to look forward to gets him through the week.
Don expressed his desire to help others through their times of loneliness and explained how he wanted to make the most out of his ‘twightlight years’ – his words not mine!! I have no doubt that by sharing his story, Don will help many, many others and will make his a lot of new friends, with me being the newest!
I have to say, despite my hesitations, I am really proud of this piece of work. I just hope that the words of Don, Neil and Josh will help others realise that it is ok to talk, bottling things up will not work and, most importantly, whatever you are going through, you are not alone.
You can learn more about Jake and his charity through the following links: