Katie Chiang: Tighter restrictions had me tied up in knots

I had no idea what to expect when walking into that small dark room in Jersey General’s antenatal department, all alone. This is my first pregnancy and our first child.I was so tense that it became a workout for the sonographer to fight my tummy muscles and get a clear image of our baby on the screen. My whole body was rigid, my back was aching and my shoulders had been up by my ears for days.Granted little baby Chiang was hiding out and refusing to pose for the ultrasound, but it took a good ten minutes of deep breathing and catching glimpses of our little one wiggling before I was able to begin relaxing.Six days before my 12-week scan, Jersey’s government changed the rules on allowing partners into the room for antenatal screenings and I spent the entire time fretting and worrying. What if something’s gone wrong? What if the worst has happened, I go into shock and don’t take in what the professionals are telling me? How could I possibly break that awful news to my husband Toby, waiting patiently in Patriotic Street car park, while completely breaking down myself?Thankfully, they were questions I didn’t need to find an answer for. Everything seems to be going well - but that doesn’t negate the week of worry I endured, and I’m sure it’s the same for the hundreds of other pregnant women in the island.

The Health Minister has already responded to a petition to overturn the ‘no partners’ rule. He says the rules won’t change and are in place to protect hospital staff and in turn the 15-20 or so other vulnerable women they will see in that small room every day.I’ve been flitting between agreeing with him – of course, people shouldn’t be put at unnecessary risk when they’re doing their job and the vulnerable women going to their appointments shouldn’t be fearful of catching Covid either – and becoming massively frustrated.

I find it incredibly difficult to believe there isn’t a larger room somewhere in the hospital, at Overdale or another Health Department site that could accommodate three people in one place while the supporting person stayed 2 metres away. If that is truly impossible, allow a video call or the chance to listen in on speakerphone. The latter is what they’ve done in many NHS trusts in the UK since lockdown began, enabling both parents to hear the good or bad news at the same time. There’s no onus on a grieving mother, who’s just discovered her pregnancy isn’t viable, to explain to the other parent what’s gone wrong.Here, the guidance states that the act of holding a phone leads ‘to a taut abdomen’ and says the phone could get in the sonographer’s way. I’d be more than happy to treat the department to a stand, where you can clip your phone, out of the way, and the partner can listen in.

For most couples, antenatal scans aren’t about taking pictures of your future child to use as a pregnancy announcement. They offer reassurance for both parents that the little person who has been growing inside for the past few months is okay. It's all very well and good sending women away with a video loop of their baby to make others feel included, but that only brings comfort if you've had good news. I have avoided most typical symptoms of pregnancy, so this first scan gave me the knowledge that there is someone in there. The reason I’m not feeling nauseous and throwing up every day is because I’m lucky, not because this pregnancy wasn’t meant to be.

In the same week Jersey’s leaders made the decision to ban partners from scans, the UK overturned its rules. In the NHS guidance, it states: ‘Parents are partners in care and should not be considered to be visitors.’ For an island committed to 'putting children first', which has also just approved new parental rights laws, I'd like to see both parents given equal opportunity here. Toby didn’t need to be close enough to hold my hand, but knowing he was in the same room or listening to the experts would have saved stress, anxiety and sleepless nights. It is half his baby after all.

The sonographers who saw me (one supervisor and one trainee) were both wonderful. They could see how I was feeling and did their very best to calm me down. Telling jokes and assuring me that my emotions were perfectly normal. They really are a credit to Jersey’s health service in a very difficult time and I wouldn’t want to see anyone put at additional risk. However, since the beginning of the pandemic we have both been on our best behaviour, following the guidance and doing everything that is asked of us – even more so since we found out we are expecting.The chances of Toby having Covid and me not are very slim. The chances of transmission between us (wearing masks, sanitising hands on the way in etc.) and the sonographer, who is dressed in full PPE is low. However, the chance of finding out that something has gone wrong in pregnancy is heartbreakingly high. NHS statistics say one in eight pregnancies will end in miscarriage and it’s likely to be confirmed in that room.

This festive season, we are blessed to able to celebrate our news with our close Jersey family. My only Christmas wish is that we can all work together as an island to get Covid case numbers down. Hopefully then, expectant parents can go to their antenatal scans together.