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The mothers fighting to shut down suicide website which encouraged sons to take their lives
Report by Amelia Beckett
The mother of a young man from Leeds who took his own life has revealed that he used his final message to call for the website that encouraged his suicide to be banned.
Joe Nihill was 23 when he died in 2020 after exchanging dozens of messages in an online forum which explains methods of suicide.
In a note written shortly before his death, Joe said: "Please do you best in closing that website for anyone else."
His mother, Catherine Adenekan, described him as a "kind, outgoing 23-year-old".
But after a number of family bereavements and a toxic relationship, Joe became depressed. By the time lockdown hit, he was suicidal.
"You shouldn't have to see anyone like that, not one of your children," she said.
"Especially at 23. He was just a shell."
Ms Adenekan had no idea about the site Joe had been accessing, which detailed ways to hide suicidal thoughts from family and friends.
Up until the night of his death, she was unaware of what he was preparing to do.
"He was back to singing around the house, he was talking more, he wasn't spending as much time in his room...we thought Joe was coming back," she said.
"He gave me a kiss – [he said] 'love you'... I came down the next morning and the door was half open and I knew. That stays in your head, constantly."
When they were handed Joe's suicide note, it confirmed what he had accessed.
It is a story which tragically mirrors that of Angela Stevens - her son Brett, who's from Stoke, killed himself in 2019.
But it wasn't until after his death she found he had accessed the same website.
The 28-year-old, who had been diagnosed with autism, was found dead in a house in Scotland, which he had travelled to from his home in Stoke.
A woman was found dead in the same house.
Ms Stevens says she was horrified to find out they had met on the website, after finding a thread for people who are afraid to die alone.
"Well the first thing you do is you start googling everything don't you? And I couldn't believe how easy and accessible that site was," she said. "Literally a click of a button.
"You can find a suicide partner. And that's exactly what he did."
Desperate for others to be saved from similar heartache, the two mothers started their own campaign, along with Ms Adenekan's daughter-in-law Melanie Saville.
They have now discovered that there have been 21 deaths in Britain linked to the same website.
But, two years on from their own sons' deaths, it is still readily accessible.
"Australia, Germany and Italy have taken that site down. What is it going to take for them to take it down?" Ms Adenekan said.
The coroner ruled Joe's death a suicide but said some sites like the one he was accessing may be breaking the law.
The Online Safety Bill which is set to become law later this year will include legislation to help remove harmful suicide related content.
The government told ITV News: "We condemn the existence of sites like this and the harmful impact they have on people's lives. Online content encouraging suicide is illegal.
"Our new laws will force internet platforms including small websites and the search engines which list them to remove it.
"If these companies fail in their duties they will face huge fines and having their services blocked.
"Their bosses could also be held criminally liable for failing to cooperate with the regulator Ofcom."
But Ms Adenekan's MP Richard Burgon says it does not go far enough and has raised her case in parliament a number of times.
"We want to make sure the protections relate to not just people under 18, but over 18," he said.
"And also that it relates to the smaller internet platforms not just the tech giants. What we don't want is they become the hiding place for this type of content."
Lawyer Yair Cohen, who specialises in online and social media law, added that because this website is hosted outside of the UK, that adds a further complication.
"There are hundreds of search engines. And I think it's going to be very difficult for the government to insist that every single search engine that has got access to UK users will follow blocking or delisting processes.
"So the short answer is, I don't believe the Online Safety Bill will result in removal of this type of content from the internet."
Suicide prevention helplines:
NHS Choices
If you're feeling like you want to die, it's important to tell someone. Help and support is available right now if you need it. You do not have to struggle with difficult feelings alone.
The Samaritans Tel: 116 123
Samaritans is available round the clock, every single day of the year. We provide a safe place for anyone struggling to cope, whoever they are, however they feel, whatever life has done to them. Please call 116 123 email jo@samaritans.org, or visit www.samaritans.org to find details of the nearest branch.
Shout
Text Shout to 85258
Shout is the UK’s first free 24/7 text service for anyone in crisis anytime, anywhere. It’s a place to go if you’re struggling to cope and you need immediate help.
Mind
MindInfoline: 0300 123 3393