'They said I was a danger': LGBTQ+ veterans share their stories 25 years after 'gay ban' lifted

Twenty-five years after the Armed Forces so-called 'gay ban' was lifted, British LGBTQ+ military veterans have shared their experiences in a new comic strip. They spoke to ITV News Reporter Martha Fairlie

Steve Purves was dishonourably discharged from the Air Force in 1985, when he was found to be in a relationship with a man.

Court marshalled and dismissed with disgrace, he lost all his financial benefits and served six months in prison.

"I was so angry about it all because I didn't feel it should be happening," he told ITV News. "I kept thinking someone would intervene and quash it, but they never did.

"It took a long time to come to terms with what had happened and to face it. Years and years and years and years for me."

Now, Steve's story, among other LGBTQ+ veterans', is being told in a new anthology comic, Coming Home, from charity Re-Live.

This month's edition focuses on the enduring impact of the UK military’s ‘gay ban’ on veterans’ mental health, marking the 25th anniversary of the lifting of the ban.

Until 2000, homosexuality was banned in the Armed Forces. Under the ban, thousands of LGBTQ+ service personnel were subjected to surveillance and interrogation and faced court martials, dismissals for conduct unbecoming and even imprisonment.

It wasn’t until July 2023 that the then Prime Minister Rishi Sunak apologised to the hundreds of veterans who were persecuted.

The stories in Coming Home are co-created with each veteran and a professional cartoonist to develop their own narrative.

Steve describes the process of making the comic as thrilling and says the finished product helps him to tell others about his experience.

"You don't have to explain, warts and all, what happened to you. You say, okay, well, have a read. I'm the third story in there, have a quick read and then you'll know where I'm coming from and what I'm about."

Lieutenant Caroline Paige worked with artist Ria Grix to depict her story. Caroline knew she was transgender from a young age, but had to hide who she was to serve in the Air Force.

"I would go to work and be the person that everybody expected me to be and do this 'Top Gun', amazing job. But I'd go home, lock the doors, close the curtains and then I would relax and just be myself, be Caroline."

Lieutenant Caroline Paige describes the huge pressure she felt to hide who she was while serving in the Armed Forces

After years of service, Caroline decided to leave the Air Force, knowing they would likely throw her out.

"I had this brilliant job, but I was missing my life and I needed to do something about it," she said.

With support from a medical officer, Caroline was eventually allowed to stay in the service and transition.

"The ban was still in place and all of the opinions were against me being in service," Caroline said.

"They said I was a danger and a liability. It wasn't for a short while until people started standing up for me and saying, hang on a minute, Caroline's not the one who is the problem, you are."

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The veterans' stories resonate with Olympian and former Army Sergeant Dame Kelly Holmes.

Despite being made an Honorary Army Colonel, she lived in fear of coming out for decades.

She told ITV News: "I was in a career where it's illegal to be gay, I then left that career where no one in society talked about, you know, sexuality as such. And in a sport where it was just a taboo subject, no one knew anything.

"So even up until the point of 2000 when the band was lifted, that three year period of leaving the military and that band being lifted, I literally couldn't say anything. So I never lived my life authentically then because I was so worried that if I'd said or admitted I was gay, I could still be in trouble. I thought I could be jailed."

'I never lived my life authentically then because I was so worried I would be in trouble,' says Kelly Holmes

Karin Diamond, artistic director of Re-Live, the charity behind the comic, said it was a "privilege" to "listen and be a witness to a veteran's story".

"At times it can be quite difficult to hear their experiences and know that they've gone through such awful, awful times," she said.

"I think the themes and the stories that are told in this edition have links to universal themes around identity and belonging, links to isolation and loneliness, and the impact on our mental health and wellbeing."

Coming Home Comic has been co-created by Arts in Health charity Re-Live, in partnership with Fighting With Pride, the LGBTQ+ military veterans charity.

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