Becky Downie's exclusion from Tokyo 2020 is more than just a story about an athlete not quite making the Olympic team
It is impossible to imagine exactly what is going through Becky Downie’s mind right now and even she admits she is struggling to express her emotions.
"Ever since I was a little girl, winning an Olympic Gold medal has always been my dream," she says.
"I don’t have the words to describe how it feels now not being able to try. I still love the sport, and I feel like I’m in the form of my life".
All that from one of Britain’s biggest star gymnasts and a recent world silver medalist.
But Downie’s story adds up to more than just the heartbreak of another elite athlete not quite making an Olympic team. Much more.
The pressure group Gymnasts for Change, set up in the wake of the British Gymnastics abuse scandal last year, has no doubt what they think is most likely behind her omission - and that’s retribution.
"It’s hard not to assume that their [British Gymnastics] motivation in effectively ending Becky Downie’s career is a sinister warning to those who might speak out in future," the group said.
Last July, Becky and her sister Ellie joined a fast-growing group of gymnasts who described a "cruel" culture in the sport that was "so ingrained in our daily lives that it became completely normalised."
At the time the pair were regarded as Britain’s best Olympic medal hopes so their intervention was incredibly powerful.
Their bravery in speaking out in such terms, so close to the rescheduled Games, was widely applauded and gave many others the confidence to do likewise.
But as Tokyo drew closer, privately the sisters became increasingly concerned about what they had said, fearing it might count against them when it came to selection.
Ellie, who withdrew from the trial process around the time of their brother Josh’s sudden and unexpected death, said on Monday about her sister being snubbed: "I would say it comes as a shock but after how we’ve been treated this year it’s not really."
Understandably, Becky was unable to compete so soon after such a terrible family tragedy but agreed to take part in a rearranged trial, on her own, two weeks later.
It was after that the selectors decided she would not be included in the team.
Downie said on Monday: "Performance aside, first and foremost I’m a human being. I don’t think I’ll ever get over the experience that I endured at the final trial."
It has also emerged she did appeal her exclusion but was set a deadline to submit it that coincided with the day of her brother’s funeral. As we know now, the appeal failed.
British Gymnastics Performance Director James Thomas told a media briefing on Monday that it was only after that rearranged trial they decided the priority would be winning a team medal in Tokyo so all-round gymnasts, rather than specialists like Downie, were favoured.
'For me I’m very confident the team were considered on their gymnastic merits and nothing else'
Thomas also denied that Downie had been cast out for challenging the culture within gymnastics: "For me I’m very confident the team were considered on their gymnastic merits and nothing else."
In this context, it is also worth reflecting on comments of British Gymnastics interim CEO Alastair Marks a few months ago: "I want to be clear to them [gymnasts] that I will fight to ensure that no one raising concerns will ever see their gymnastic opportunities detrimentally impacted."
Downie clearly has many more questions she wants answered and many more things to say about what she’s been through, but she is also compassionate enough to recognise that now is not the time.
She more than deserves those answers, but four other gymnasts saw their dreams come true today. None of the anger flying around is aimed at them and nor should it be.