'I still feel like I'm having to look over my shoulder': Former partner of Sudesh Amman speaks to ITV News
The former partner of the Streatham attacker has spoken of her trauma and sense of betrayal following the terrorist attack in south London.
The one-time companion of Sudesh Amman – who spoke to ITV News on condition of anonymity - said she felt “trapped” during their relationship, which lasted less than a year.
“He never hurt me physically, but emotionally and psychologically he did.
"I felt trapped.
"I tried to deal with it by myself, but it affected me tremendously,” she said.
“He seemed okay at first, but it quickly became apparent that things weren’t right.”
Amman was jailed in 2018 for possessing and distributing terrorist material and urged his partner, who is in her early 20s, to kill her "disbeliever" parents.
He told her that any Muslims not supporting so-called Islamic State were “apostates”.
He said he was thinking of conducting a terrorist attack and had carried out reconnaissance.
She said she was left “shaking, traumatised, horrified” when she heard he had been killed by police officers after stabbing passers-by on a high street in south London.
“I just want to move on and have a normal life and I felt like I was starting to, but now it feels like I’m reliving it all, reliving the nightmare.”
Describing her enduring anger following their relationship, she said “even though it was a long time ago I still feel like I’m having to look over my shoulder”.
“I just live in fear – it shouldn’t be like this.
"But it’s given me some closure that I don’t feel trapped in a situation anymore.”
“It’s really opened my eyes – you think you know a person, but you don’t.
"People should be careful.
"I feel hugely betrayed – this was someone I trusted, and now I’ve got to live with this the rest of my life."
The woman told ITV News she was unaware that Amman had been released from prison a few days before the attack.
“I haven’t heard from him for a long time, I don’t know what happened to him in prison.”
She says she did not agree with the increasingly radical views he expressed during their relationship.
“I didn’t believe in his ideology, I didn’t condone it, I didn’t agree with it and I never will, but I couldn’t stop it.
“The authorities really need to focus on rehabilitation.
"Offenders like this, with that sort of ideology, if they’re not rehabilitated properly before they’re released, or the penalties are increased then this will just happen again.
“My tears and heart are with the innocent people affected.”