'He has destroyed this happy family': Read the victim statement Jen Phillips read out in person
A teenage car thief who killed a policeman by mowing him down during a car chase wiped away tears when the widow of his victim read out her victim statement.
In an unusual move, the officer's widow, Jen Phillips, took the opportunity to address the court herself and to deliver her heart-rending victim impact statement from the witness box.
The 29-year-old, who wiped away tears, addressed Williams directly in the dock, saying: "I have wrote (sic) this because of what you have done to me and my children."
As she spoke, jurors wept and Williams himself, head bowed, began to wipe away tears.
This is the victim impact statement Jen Phillips, the wife of PC Dave Phillips, read out in court during the trial of Clayton Williams, 19.
The actions of Mr Williams have dramatically affected and impacted my life.
Since the night Mr Williams killed my husband I find it difficult to sleep most nights. I was prescribed sleeping tablets by my GP, but had to stop taking them, as my children needed me during the night and the side effects (dizziness/nausea) became too much.
When I do sleep, I’m either dreaming of my husband alive, blissfully unaware what has happened, both of us happy together or in a very light sleep, to the point of hearing everything around me.
Every night I turn over in bed, look at my husband’s side of the bed, the empty space next to me, where my husband should be sleeping. I wish him goodnight and tell him how much I love and miss him.
The tears follow, as I cry myself to sleep, every night. Even now I close my eyes and pray this is all a horrible dream. I am living my worst nightmare.
I have regular flashbacks from the night my husband was killed. Something as simple as a car door closing at night, to trigger the flashbacks.
Every fine detail, played out in my mind. The knock on my door from two male police officers, particularly noticing the tear stained blood shot eyes from one of the officers, to arriving at the hospital and being told by the doctors they had been trying to resuscitate Dave for 40 minutes and him not responding, to me sitting next to Dave, holding his hand, begging him to fight for his life and not leave me, while the doctors continue to perform CPR on him.
Praying, ‘please bring him back to me’...watching my husband die in front of me and there’s absolutely nothing I can do.
This was all happening while Mr C Williams was trying to cover his tracks. Its soul destroying. Something that will always stay with me, and haunt me for the rest of my life.
I have lost over two and a half stone in weight since the 5 October and the weight loss continues.
I not only have to grieve for myself, but to grieve for my children, run a household, and continue ‘normally’ for the sake of my children...but things are not normal.
Dave was very hands on with household chores, with the kids, doing school runs and so on. He also dealt with the finances. We shared everything. 50/50 parenting. I’ve now had to take on his role.
My role doubled within the house and as a parent. I have to be strong for the sake of my children, protect them, console and support them. As parent, you want to make everything better for your children, take away any pain they may have.
How do I do that? When the children cry for their daddy asking me to bring him back to them, the one wish they want, while sobbing uncontrollably. The one thing I can’t give them. It’s gut wrenching, it’s torture.
The night is when I cry uncontrollably, by myself, in bed, with this gut wrenching pain. The tears can’t keep up as the pain intensifies. The pain...It’s indescribable. The loneliness and emptiness.
I have had to give up work due to childcare, to me not being able to face going back and the worry of everyone recognising me (my clientele).
The relationship I had with my husband, we were very close to each other.
We told each other everything and supported each other throughout. He was my left arm, as I would say, my best friend. Whenever I needed someone to lean on, he was there to catch and support me.
Less than a month after losing my husband, my Nan was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She died a month later.
The person I needed most in my life to support me and console me, wasn’t here. I needed him, my husband. I still do
[On] 3 January, three months after losing Dave our beloved family cats had to be put to sleep. Again my soul mate, the person I needed most wasn’t here to console me.
I have had to overcome some hurdles along the way. My birthday back in November, Christmas (Dave’s favourite time of year) and my next big, upcoming hurdle is my Wedding Anniversary on 15th April.
It would have been our 5th Wedding Anniversary. The plans we made to celebrate our special day, have had to be cancelled! Now my wedding anniversary isn’t a day of celebration, but a day of complete and utter sadness.
It’s something I don’t want to think or talk about.
Everywhere I go, I get recognised, with it being a high profile case. Because of what Mr Williams did there was, and still is a huge amount of media interest.
Going to the shops, I see people staring at me. I’m not known as Jen or Mrs Phillips, or a complete stranger anymore. I’m now known as ‘PC Dave Phillips widow’.
Widowed at 28 years old with two young, vulnerable, innocent children, thrown into this nightmare.
On the 4 March I had to watch the CCTV of the night Mr Williams killed my husband.
Leading up to watching it, I had regular sleepless night, dreading watching it.
Watching the CCTV footage of Mr Williams kill my husband was extremely horrific and harrowing to watch. Seeing and hearing Dave’s final moments.
Why did Mr Williams decide he would be the one to end my husband’s life? Who gave him the right to play god?
That night, once the kids where asleep, I sat on the end of my bed staring at the floor for over an hour.
What I just witnessed earlier on, was starting to sink in. I felt numb, shocked and overwhelming anger.
How could Mr Williams do something like that, not just to Dave but to a person?
Dave didn’t stand a chance. He was just doing his job, trying to stop Mr Williams in his vehicle before he potentially hurt members of the public.
Dave was a good guy, a well mannered, polite, kind, loving man who always put people first before himself.
He loved his job as a police officer, but loved his family more. Me and the girls where his everything and he did everything possible to make sure we were OK. He was the perfect husband and father! During Mr Williams’ evidence he “apparently” said (through his solicitor) in his first statement that he wanted to express his sorrow and upset he has caused me and the family.
However, not once did he turn to us (which would have been the perfect opportunity) and say to us, how sorry and devastated he was for what he did to Dave, his sorrow to Dave’s friends and colleagues and the community…nothing.
All he was concerned about was himself. Him and no-one else! He could not care less for what he has done to us. The pain, suffering….nothing.
Mr Williams has destroyed this happy family. He’s a thief: He’s stolen the one person who meant the absolute world to me, who I gave my whole heart to, the person I married to grow old with and create a lifetime of wonderful memories along the way with...gone.
I can’t bare the thought that I have to carry on my life, without him by my side. I can’t put into words how much my heart is broken and how much Mr Williams has destroyed me.
I and my children are the ones living a life sentence, as our pain, torture, and heartache is something we have to live with for the rest of our lives.
He’s not only killed my husband but he’s killed something inside of me too. If hell was real, I’m currently living in it.