Golden goal: Kevin Pressman becomes Sheffield Wednesday hero with FA Cup penalty joy
By Adam Hurrey
The undeniable novelty of a goalkeeper scoring a goal - seemingly still bombproof from the instant gratification of modern football - manifests itself in various forms. Last-gasp, sensational goalkeeper goals (Jimmy Glass’s genre-defining 1999 classic, for example) boast on obvious, immediate thrill. At the other end of the scale sits the rather more drawn-out spectacle of career keeper-goalscorers, for whom Rogerio Ceni is the standard bearer. The Brazilian scored 128 goals before finally retiring this year, including a preposterous 21 in a single season with Sao Paulo in 2005.
Somewhere, perfectly poised in between, is a keeper stepping up unexpectedly from the penalty spot. A gloveless Ricardo dumped England out of Euro 2004, from which they have never quite recovered. Well-established maverick Manuel Neuer converted unfussily but in vain against Chelsea in the Champions League final in 2012. Most recently, Thibaut Courtois walloped home a decisive pre-season penalty against Paris Saint-Germain with the youthful abandon of a man who could never have envisaged signing up for a relegation battle just weeks later.
Should it be much of a surprise, though? Goalkeepers are perhaps unfairly underrated as an option in penalty shootouts. Thanks to the arduous formality of goal-kicks, they are theoretically well versed in the art of striking a ball cleanly and powerfully. Furthermore, having already established an age-old stereotype of having a rather more bold mentality than their outfield colleagues, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that they ought to feature more frequently in managers’ penalty shootout shortlists.
One chilly February evening in 1995 witnessed the absolute pinnacle of twelve-yard goalkeeping achievement. Its hero was Kevin Pressman, whose 22-year career perhaps deserves to be boiled down to more than just 400 games for Sheffield Wednesday, 3 England B caps and a red card after just 13 seconds in 2000. An FA Cup fourth-round replay against Wolves at Molineux provided the tense, floodlit setting, and a Mark Bright equaliser eventually ensured that penalties would be required to settle the tie.
Despite the cushion of a 2-0 lead in the shootout - after Bright and Guy Whittingham had converted for Wednesday and Wolves had missed their first two spot-kicks - the sight of Pressman placing the ball on the spot and striding back towards the edge of the area was an unexpected one. What happened next is surely the ultimate definition of “no-nonsense”.
Before we examine the glorious trajectory, enjoy the sheer sound of it all. The decisive, life-affirming sound of ball against stanchion, the astounded “Wha-hoh!” from Sky’s Andy Gray followed by a masterful “GET. IN.” from Martin Tyler - clearly the only two available human responses to seeing Kevin Pressman wallop a penalty into the extreme top corner of a goal. (The BBC’s Tony Gubba opted for a more reserved “....well, that’s unusual”)
Gray, having gathered himself, then offered the ultimate validation for a top-corner belter by claiming that “you could’ve had two goalkeepers in there and they’d have had trouble saving that”, as the behind-the-goal replay somehow managed to make it look even more unstoppable. Watch Paul Jones, the Wolves goalkeeper, offer up two feeble palms in the process of being as far away from saving a penalty as it is physically possible to get.
Does football have a word for a shot like this? Arrowed? Not brutal enough. Rifled? Not sufficiently devastating. What about thumped, thundered or hammered? That could be any powerful penalty. Perhaps bludgeoned works here. Or Pressmanned.
As for the reaction of the man himself, Pressman looks briefly confused about where he’s supposed to be after doing something like that. He takes to his line for Wolves’ next penalty - as if any penalty would ever matter ever again - with a look back to the halfway line that simply says “what?”
As it turned out, Sheffield Wednesday somehow conspired to lose after an ashen-faced Chris Waddle - in his first shootout since that night in Turin in 1990, and having already seen a defender called Pearce miss from the spot - reluctantly stepped up and had his decisive effort saved.
Nevertheless, a glance towards Kevin Pressman's Twitter account reassuringly reveals that someone sends him the YouTube clip of his penalty about once a month. Three years after his heroics were in vain at Molineux, Pressman again stepped up in a FA Cup shootout and belted the winner against Watford at Hillsborough.
Football purists are welcome to worship the Panenka but Pressman’s moment was worth a thousand Panenkas. The greatest penalty ever scored was by a fifteen-stone goalkeeper called Kevin, wearing a lime green and purple shirt, and it’s as close to perfect as football has ever got.