Max & Jess: a love story...
Once upon a time, in a villa far far away...
Well, not FAR far. It doesn't count as long-haul. But still pretty far...
...there lived a little girl named Jessica. Hello, Jessica!
Well, boys and girls, isn't she just lovely?
(The boys seem to be agreeing slightly more vocally than the girls.)
Jess had a catchphrase which she would repeat a hundred times an hour. It wasn't in the slightest bit annoying, and no-one ever tired of hearing it.
Jess had her pick of the boys in the villa; first she enchanted Hulk, before switching to Josh. And the chemistry was certainly there...
...briefly.
And soon enough, Josh turned his attentions to the wicked witch. Actually, that's not entirely fair. The wicked hot young graduate management self-confessed player.
Jess was left on her lonesome, until two new islanders came to the villa. One was a handsome prince named Max, who instantly caught the eye of Jess...
...While the other came to tell nightmarish tales of Jess and her many shortcomings. Sort of like a town crier, but with more swear words, and in a bikini.
With Bethany's words having poisoned the minds of the islanders, Max had a tough decision to make regarding Jess...
But thankfully, the two paired up. Awwww.
Until... uh-oh! Naomi's back, with yet another slice of pie! She promptly stole Max away.
It made Jess' face do this:
But it wasn't long before a team of brave knights intervened, and used their magical powers to banish Naomi. (Basically, you lot used the app to vote her out.)
Max was now available again, but he'd have to do some serious grovelling...
Max was pretty clear about the things he liked about Jess.
And after some persuasion (i.e. not much persuasion at all), Jess was his once again.
They enjoyed a nice horsey date...
They got down to some serious snuggling...
They shared it with the world...
Including their families...
But somehow, Jess won over the future mother-in-law...
They made it official...
The people of the realm chose them as their King and Queen...
And the pair lived happily ever after, enjoying their reign over the Kingdom of Huddersfield until the end of time.
(Or, y'know, enjoy a few more snogs then swap numbers once they land at Gatwick. The classic fairytale.)