Week Five: An expert's guide to Love Island
New arrivals, new arguments, new people in the White Room and a new ex-girlfriend over for dinner, week four was quite simply, awesome!
Don't know about you, but we're in desperate need of some answers! Thankfully Match.com dating guru, and all-round wise owl, Kate Taylor, is here to break it all down for us...
1. Lauren & Josh are entering the final in a mutual friendzone. Did Ben and Poppy ever really stand a chance?
Ben would've done better if he'd had more swagger. I think that's why he's got through 150 dates this year without snagging a girlfriend - he's just not cocky enough. He's (as Jess would say), a good-looking guy, and he's funny and bright; he has a lot to be confident about! It's a shame. I was surprised at Poppy's TOTAL lack of flirting skills. There aren't many 20-year-old pretty, curvy blondes who could get into a hot-tub with Josh and get out unravaged. I know she said she doesn't "graft" for boys, but she could at least be light-hearted/witty/intriguing in her conversation. I've heard flirtier talk from my Nan!
2. Hannah & Jon seem to begenuinely smitten with each other. But the real world and Love Island are two very different places. Can they make it work outside the villa?
They are made for each other - I see them getting married and raising a football team of kids. I think Jon will make a great Dad - he's certainly been The Godfather of the island. Back on dry land, I think the couple will do well, as long as they keep their jealousy and insecurity in check. They're used to being around each other 24/7 -- will they trust each other when they have more space? Hannah's job is VERY provocative, I don't know if Jon will handle that long-term.
3. It's been pretty intense for Luis and Cally. What's your take on their relationship?
Honestly? I'm not sure. Luis says "I want her as my wife," but if they can't get through a day without bickering, what will a lifetime together feel like? Cally says it's just lack-of-sexual-tension, but fundamentally they seem to have very different personalities. I think this second-chance at a relationship is making them feel almost obliged to fall in love with each other. But really, could it be why they didn't work out in the first place?
4. Max & Jess have finally sealed the deal. Is there a future in it though? If Naomi was still around, would it have even happened?
Max is using Jess like a box of Kleenex. I'm always shouting at my TV, "JESS, STOP BEING SO NAIVE!" Privately, Max has been calling Jess "Fun, not girlfriend material". I fail to see how he's changed his real opinion now. Notice how vague he is about the future - "We'll see how it gers..." He's built in his escape route before they've even begun. I wish Jess would realise there's so much more to her than just her sexuality. I know her career uses her body, but in her personal life, I wish she'd use her brain.
5. It seems Zoe got caught up in the romance of Love Island, and slept with Jordan despite her Christian values. How easy is it to lose yourself in a situation as unusual as the villa?
I'm standing-in for the Pope here, and giving Zoe an official pardon for her sexy sins. The couple have spent every day together for almost a month - in real-time dating, that's about the equivalent of seeing someone for six months. Nearly. Ish. Anyway, it's a long time. Plus, the Hulk is Zoe's perfect physical type - that caused her to become infatuated. Now they're out, I hope the couple last outside the island - if only so they can get married at Zoe's church, and calm-down the congregation.
6. Finally, we've had 23 different singles in the Love Island villa this series. Is there one pairing you think would've been gold? Which two islanders would you have put together if you had the chance?
I love Jon and Hannah, but I'd liked to have seen Naomi with Jon. I think he would've seen through her playerish ways and knocked her off her pedestal. Or, Max and Danielle. She's classy enough to appeal to his social-climbing nature, and they would've looked HOT together.